Pattern Buffers II: Rephasing
by Saavik13
Summary: Sequel to Pattern Buffers - How does one find a place in a universe where they do not belong? How do you navigate when the familiar is twisted, almost beyond recognition?


Spock watched the alternate version of his family from the shadows of the transporter room. He observed their reactions with something close to detachment: his mother's pained smile as she embraced Sarek, her joy at seeing her son, her subtle surprise at seeing Uhura's hand still clasped tightly in the younger Spock's, they all washed over him as if...as if he had no real connection to the people.

So different, all of them. All of them except her. Amanda Grayson even smelled as he remembered her. The Enterprise was different. All his friends, so long dead to him, were different. This universe could not be the same, it had to be an alternate, so changed from all he knew. Yet, his mother seemed eternal and unaltered, despite the harsh discrepancies present in all the others.

The not-quite-McCoy scanned her and pronounced her healthy "considering". There was a lingering transporter sickness, a slight "wibble wobble" in her nervous and autonomic systems caused by the prolonged buffering. She was in pain, her eyes pinched and her mouth slightly drawn, but she smiled at the doctor's accent and asked all the right questions, the polite diplomatic questions, to Kirk and Mr. Scott. It wasn't until she'd hugged Uhura and forced a kiss to the younger Spock's cheek that she caught sight of the shadowy figure in the corner.

Spock froze as his mother's eyes landed on his, finding him in the darkness. She was the only one in the room not to know the truth, not to understand why he hid here to watch, to be a voyeur on this particularly poignant family reunion.

Sarek made to grab her arm, to stop her, but Amanda moved with her trademark grace despite her pain and slipped past his hands and down onto the floor proper. Her slippered feet, made to be silent on the ancient stones of the Vulcan temple, made no sound as she glided across the transporter room. Her eyes held his captive and for a moment Spock did not breath.

It was wrong that with all of Vulcan gone he had mourned, truly grieved, for only one. This frail human woman, that for him had died a century past, was all he cried out for as the planet burned. The rest, the rest was not his home so much as the prison of his youth and the base of operations for his adulthood. His children were not there, his wife was not there, only this woman, his mother, had been victim to Nero. Only his mother, out of all of Vulcan, did Spock truly wish revenge for.

It was in his eyes, all of it, as she finally reached him. He could not help the tear that dripped from his eye and slide down his cheek as she slowly reached a hand up to cup the side of his face. He would blame it on the illness he knew lay lurking in his genetic code but it was early, far too early, in the progression to show itself in such a fashion. He had years yet until_ it_ eroded his control.

"Spock?" His mother's voice broke on his name. "I don't know how…but it is you isn't? My son?"

"Mother." Spock reached an aged hand up to mirror hers, cupping her younger face as gently as she did his lined one. "I have missed you."

Tears were brimming in her eyes and she bit her lip to stop a sob. "And they said time travel was impossible." She let out a watery laugh. "Leave it to my son to do the impossible."

"It is a family trait, mother." He replied in an equally shaky tone. "They also said it was impossible for a human woman to marry a Vulcan. I believe we have both proved the Vulcan High Council is not as wise as they profess to be."

This produced a genuine laugh from her and she slowly dropped her hand to his chest. She patted him, as if making sure he was real. "Something tells me I've been gone longer than a normal transport. Sarek's changed robes, Spock's gotten a girlfriend, the Enterprise has a younger Captain, and I've managed to find a son older than I am with my father's since of humor."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating. I do not believe you ever made that comparison where I come from."

"Maybe you weren't this funny when you were younger." Amanda smiled gently and nodded towards the dour looking younger version behind her. Sarek and the younger Spock wore identical expressions of shock and irritation and for a moment the elder Spock was tempted to laugh along with his mother if for no other reason than to gauge their response. He settled instead for his trademarked raised eyebrow.

"Indeed. Perhaps we should correct this error while there is still time. My younger self has equal potential, with the correct inducement." Spock tipped his head to one side and shared a look with Kirk. "I trust his captain will give him a proper introduction into human humor patterns."

Kirk grinned. "You can count on it." He looked around the room and shook his head. "There's too many Vulcans here for my blood, Mrs. Sarek. If you'll excuse me I'll just take the good doctor and the ship's engineer and be on my way. I think you'll want to hear an update from the horse's mouth, so to speak."

The other's left quickly, leaving the family alone. Uhura's hand lingered for a moment on the younger Spock's but she too followed the captain out the door.

"My wife." Sarek spoke softly. "Much has happened." His voice cracked softly and Sarek looked away. "The Spock you see before you is from an alternate future. The individual that has..." He trailed off.

"Vulcan's really gone isn't it?" Amanda asked softly. Sarek could only nod.

The younger Spock shifted uncomfortably. "We have yet to determine how much is similar from my counterpart's time to this one."

"Very little." Spock supplied. "Nero's arrival here has caused considerable changes to the timeline. There are crewmembers on board this vessel that in my timeline were not yet born when Enterprise was launched. It would seem that seminal events have been...accelerated."

Amanda looked back and forth between the two Spocks, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Wait. You are my son, but not _my_..."

The elder Spock sighed. "I am the son of Amanda Grayson and Sarek of Vulcan, but I am not an older version of the Spock you know. I am...from a parallel universe, one similar to this but altered. There are things that I recognize and many I do not."

"But you recognize me?"

Spock couldn't stop another tear from sliding down his cheek and Amanda drew in a sharp breath. "One does not forget one's mother no matter the universe."

"Spock?"

"Forgive me." He looked down at the decking wishing Sarek and the other Spock were not there to witness his weakness. "It has been a long time since I was in the company of so many I...cared deeply for. Where and when I am from, you are all gone." Spock looked back up and made eye contact with his younger self. "There is a price we pay for the longevity of the Vulcan race. When one chooses to live among humans one finds...they are ultimately alone."

Amanda's breath hitched as she started to cry. "My god, you've had to watch all of us die haven't you? Sarek and I..."

"And Jim, the doctor, Uhura, Mr. Scot..." Spock's hand reached out to the bulk head. "Even this ship which was my home for so very long." Sarek's eyebrow rose. "Forgive me." Spock said softly. "You have just lost your planet and I grieve for a ship that was destroyed centuries past."

Sarek's head tipped to one side. "I believe the cause is sufficient." He stepped forward and took Amanda's hand in his gently. "Come, my wife. You require rest."

"But..." Amanda looked back and forth between her sons. "I..." She swallowed thickly. "Spock _needs_ me."

The younger version raised an eyebrow. "I believe I can look after myself at this time, mother. There are, after all, two of me."

The elder Spock nodded in agreement. "Your body has undergone a sever shock. This coupled with the mental trauma is sufficient inducement to rest." Spock paused a moment and looked at his father critically. "I would think the two of you have other matters to attend to as well. Death, however brief, does tend to cause problems with marriage bonds."

Sarek's eyebrow rose. "Indeed. You speak as though you have experience."

"I have." Spock sighed. "Saavik was most accident prone. I suggest you reestablish contact as soon as possible. Delay only leads to...uncomfortable problems."

"Saavik?" Amanda asked as Sarek nearly drug her out of the room. "But what about that nice young woman?"

The younger Spock stayed behind and eyed his older self carefully. "You were not involved with Nyota?"

"Correct." Spock's hands naturally moved behind his back as he took up a defensive stance. "In my universe she was involved with Mr. Scott, in something of an informal fashion. I remained single until close to my 100th year. Saavik was a former pupil, many years removed from tutelage by the time we reestablished contact and became involved."

"I do not know anyone by this name."

The elder Spock looked down. "She is most likely not born yet, or at best an infant. If Sarek and I succeed in our next endeavor she may never come to be. Her birth was the result of a Romulan experiment on Vulcan political prisoners. We are currently seeking Federation aid in a rescue mission."

"I see." The younger Spock frowned. "How many Vulcans can we expect to find?"

"Unknown. Four ships went missing originally, but it is impossible at this time to know how many may have fallen prey to the Romulans on this accelerated time line. There were multiple experiments taking place as well, several of which ended in death. By the time father and I arrived in my timeline only a handful of the cast off children were living. All the Vulcan victims were long dead."

The younger Spock frowned slightly. "We cannot leave them to the dubious mercies of Romulans." He turned to look at his older self and raised an eyebrow. "If you were not married to this Saavik until after your hundredth year, how did you survive?"

The Ambassador raised his own eyebrow in response. "A worthy question, but one not suited to the current environment. Have you discussed the necessary information with Uhura?"

The younger Spock stiffened. "Not as yet."

"If you intend to continue your relationship with her, it would be best to explain, in detail. And quickly. When you have accomplished this, I suggest both of you seek me out. I have...information you may find valuable."

The elder Spock turned on his heel and exited the transporter room, his ambassadorial robes fluttering behind him. His younger self frowned in response.

"Spock?" Uhura's hesitant voice spoke quietly from a little down the hall. "Are you all right?"

"I..." the younger Spock shook slightly and sighed. "I believe our lives are going to be complicated, Nyota. More so than we suspected."


End file.
